" Yes, I did. But I've been thinking about that, and I've talked to a counselor at work. He suggested I might have behaved in that fashion for the wro...g reasons."I took a swallow of my wine and asked, "Such as?"Shamefaced, he said, "Wanting people to like me, doing it to alleviate my loneliness, things like that."I kissed him and lay my head on his shoulder. Very softly, I said, "I love you."He hugged me and we cuddled for a time, enjoying the closeness, the feeling of oneness.He ended the. I was desperate to get fucked by him right then. I could not wait. I was just 15 but I was in love. I knew I was ready.I shouted at once, “Mom! Send Mahesh to my room, I want him to clean My Books Closet”. Before he came, I quickly took that bra covered in Mahesh’s cum and put it on under my blouse. I was feeling some psychological pleasure in the fact that Mahesh’s cum is on my breasts.Mahesh came and said, “Kya Karna Hai Memsahab?”I said, “Is blouse se meri bra dikhti hai?”“Ji. "Whatwas his reaction?" I called him and told him, and we met for lunch downtown. It was oneof the single most awkward moments of my life. Here I was, meeting withthis guy whom I was going to marry, to sleep with, to do all kinds ofthings with, and yet, at that point, I was still who I was."He reacted better to the idea than I did, I think. And to give himcredit, he did put me at ease. More than I had been, at least. In theend, we agreed that we wouldn't spend any time with each other. At that time I didn’t know what would happen. I even thought you would take one look at me and run away. Oh I knew you had seen pictures of me…in fact, you had seen ALL of me. It still scared me that you might not like my looks, even though you kept telling me otherwise. A picture is nothing like the real thing. I knew one thing and one thing only — at that moment in time, we were meant to be together. I just didn’t know how long it would last. I still don’t. I don’t remember how well I slept,.
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