We got out of our sofa to start to explore the club in all areas. It did not take long for me to understand that C did not invent anything. We stopped...at an open corner with some huge matrasses to watch two women playing with each other while their husbands got exited watching them... seeing them made me thinking way back at a period in my life being not so happy about my relationships with men. Doubting if it would not be better to become a lesbian. I learned good French kissing with a woman. They had gotten me out of the wheel chair for the first time a week previously. All I did was stand there. Everything felt ‘wrong’ somehow. My right leg was two inches longer than my left one, so the prosthetics were different lengths, too. It was weird, not being able to feel the floor under me. Feeling the cup of the prosthetic with my stump wasn’t the same.Walking on prosthetics is like walking on stilts, when you first begin. Everything is wobbly and when you take a step, you might go too. ‘I wish I’d been able to rub my dick against her. Fuck, I’m so close.’Martin reached for his laptop and opened the picture of him spreading Kathy’s pussy lips apart. We stared at the picture, at Kathy, at the pink between her legs, and we came within a few seconds of each other.Over the next eighteen months, Martin had a couple of girlfriends, but none of them lasted long and he wasn’t able to organise another evening like the one I’d spent with Kathy. We met up regularly to masturbate. Mom left them alone when we went away and when we got back today I could tell just from how she looked. She has a kind of funny look in her eyes when she looks at him, sort of like she's waiting for him to tell her what to do next. And she acts like she's sore down there. (Were you sore after the first time?) I feel sick about it. Wasn't there some way I could have prevented it? I know you didn't value your virginity very highly but I value mine. There's no way I'll ever let a guy have that.
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