But there is no going back. I’ve left that life on the log,” I said. We kissed and talked about our memories of the past year, especially our week...together at Yellowstone.“What are you hoping for the future, Ari?” Alice asked as we held our candles.“I’m hoping,” I said, looking into her eyes and feeling a connection that went beyond her sitting on my lap, “that my goddess will visit me again.” She smiled and kissed me. I lit my little stub of a candle and set it on the fireplace. “And you?” I. Jesus, what could her bedroom look like!This wasn't good, it wasn't right! She wasn't some old maid with nothing to live for. My God, she was only thirty-six years old! Looking at her objectively he could now see the pallor of her skin, the once dynamite legs getting just a bit chunky, more out of condition than fat, but unhealthy just the same. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced he was doing the right thing. At least he was going to try to help!"Mom?" he asked a little. .. I did him!" You had sex?" asked Susan in a stunned tone."NO! I gave him a BJ! It's safer. No pregnancy, no blood, no gettingundressed and besides, it's not really sex!"After that, I knew that many, if not most of the girls that hadboyfriends were probably taking care of their guys the same way. The verythought of doing that, while not an issue for me, wasn't that far removedfrom the possibility that I might, and that made me nervous. Ben hadcalled me at home twice, and I knew that he was on. Since then you’ve danced with all these girls while totally ignoring me. I should have known you were playing me!”My friends looked shocked at yet another weird revelation.My first thought was how gorgeous Joanna looked when she was angry, especially with her eyes flaring. Then when my brain stopped rattling, I realised that Cayenne Proctor had set me up with an opportunity to dance with my secret dream girl and I had totally blown it! Or had I? Desperate times called for desperate measures.I.
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