He reminds me he knows everything and I’m going to do everything he says or else. Then to my horror he reaches out and runs his hand down my cheek. ...hocked I pull back away from him. Then he steps back and rubs his package and runs his hand across his chest while telling me how much he loves to get it on with straight guys, whether they want to or not, and I’ve just provided him the perfect opportunity. Oh my fucking god no! I freak and tell him no fucking way! I’m not gay! I’m not bi-sexual!. In August, I was back in Michigan, the place where my college was located, and Tom started college in New York. In the following years, I barely saw my family. I would spend Christmas with them, but I hardly had any contact with my brother.I gave up my dreams of becoming a professional cyclist, and by the end of my fourth year in Michigan, I graduated as an environmentalist. Then, I went to Europe to study a master’s degree, which made me feel I could be better prepared to find a good job when. “Amanda, I have to make sure you’re not going to start drinking again.”She gaped at me. Rule number one of addiction or alcoholism is never have any drugs or alcohol around the victim. Everyone knew that.“Do you want it, Amanda?”She stared wide-eyed at the bottle, her mouth still half full of food. A rush of adrenaline surged up my spine. They say an addict can’t refuse another hit. Their brains go into autopilot and they zone in on getting that next fix at any cost. Same goes for. Well baby tell me! she said. Mom, I told you, you wont believe me.Baby, I am your mom, you can tell me anything, she smiled and said. Shit mom, I know that, its just I really cant believe it myself, I told her. Tell me now Dottie, she said, I have got to know what you have been up to. I cant believe its all that bad, she added, and smiled at me.Well mom, last Sunday night Tom said that he wanted me to do his buddies, while he watched. WHAT!, she said. What did you tell him? she asked intently..
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