I felt totally humiliated and powerless. The most important thing was, I mustn’t cry. No way any of them was going to see me crying. No way.Suddenly... she turned around to kiss him right on the lips. Not just a quick peck, but a full tongue wrestling kiss. She completely initiated it: that was hard to watch, but it at least stopped his unbearable lecture about Syrian history.I was wondering how much more I would have to endure when some shouting in the entrance hall caught his attention. He got. ’ ‘Mmmmm’ I sigh happily, ‘what is for breakfast, anyway?’ ‘You and your food! Do you ever think of anything else? No, wait! I take it back, I know you think of something else!’ Trevor laughs at me, and favours me with another sweet kiss on my lips. ‘There’s pancakes and bacon waiting down in the kitchen. You aren’t going to make me eat it all alone are you?’ ‘Heavens, no.’ I get out of bed and pad downstairs holding his hand all the way. He knows I love pancakes, especially when flavoured so. Unable to move forward into my new life and relationship because the memory and raw pain of what I’d destroyed and lost was too great.“Hi,” the short greeting brought me back from my self-absorbed musings. “How are you, Jill?” Back from L.A. to sort some stuff out and to enable this get together, he looked good, maybe a few pounds lost and less stressed than when I’d last seen him.Damn this man! Even after everything I’d done to him, his first go-to instinct was still to ask how I was. Me. Mar 28Some men began working the stream, panning and sluicing for gold, and giving their new Aigle boots a workout. Jeb and Cal led others as they continued the search upstream and into the surrounding foothills and mountains looking for the source of the gold. A small group of men began evaluating the flat land found abundantly to the south. I spent half the day looking for a way to reach the top of the two mesas, hoping they afforded a good view of the surrounding countryside. I finally gave.
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