.. Oh, Gee! She thought she was to blame. She just kept saying she was sorry and please not to send her away. What could I do? I had to stay and tell ...er what happened and that it wasn’t her fault. She’s still so afraid we’ll send her back to her former masters.” Gee held her and petted her hair, though his arm was stiff and he had trouble reaching her. “She’s okay with Laura and the children now. I’ll bring her down to see you and then take her home.”“Karen, about Beck...”“You never have to. I told Eli Crow I’d protect his daughter with my life and I’ll kill every damned last one of you if you try and take her from here,” Joe said, nudging his horse to face the sergeant.“Hold on boy, we already got a mess here, don’t go making it worse.”“I ain’t making nothin worse, Mister. We’re fixin’ to ride on out of here; if you want to talk to us, you come to Fort Smith and talk to Eli Crow, he’s who I ride for.”“Are you a deputy marshal too?”“No, but I’m fixin to be soon as I can. Now you. "Can I offer you something? A glass of wine?" Sure."Laura brought two glasses of wine back from the kitchen. She clinked glasses with Kendra. "Sorry I can't be more... decent on your first visit." Laura glanced down at her bathrobe."Don't worry about it, girl. You been busy. Very busy."Laura smiled mysteriously. "I was very good, though, until today. Right? I mean, you didn't hear anything."Kendra smiled. "That's right. I was listening hard, too. Like I told you, it's not something you can. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was.
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