Only dreams, nothing more. Because we won’t ever let ourselves loose.The realities of our situation are that I have yet to file legal divorce paperw...rk and you have decided that you will never leave. That makes our situation clear in my head. But my stupid heart. And my stupid hopes and dreams. So, I take it out on myself. Knowing that again in life, I am not enough. I will never be anyone’s top priority. And I deserve this torment because I am a whore. Always have been and always will be.I can. The guys that took me to the cinema came back after an hour or more and picked me up, but by then I could not find my clothes, in fact I never got them back, so I was given a coat to put around myself and told to bring it back the next day.Later in the month, I was invited to a party, well invited may be a bit of a misnomer…It was a party at the farm...I had been kept in the kennels naked but fed and watered for a couple of days...I knew I was going to be abused because I was allowed in doors. Stables, machine sheds, a helicopter landing pad. Very impressive. Essie turned right at the 'T' and drove into a large parking lot that was lined with two single story brick buildings. This must be where the single ranch hands live. Essie parked her car and I parked my right next to hers. We both exited our cars. "This is where you will live," she said pointed to one of the buildings. Room seven is on this side, fourth door down. This is probably the last time you will see me here. Todd. You need to relax, and stop trying to please everyone all the time, think about yourself a little more. Youll go crazy worrying about everyone else all of the time, She said, standing and walking away into the kitchen. How do you know she was trying to seduce you? Holly asked later, as we were preparing for bed. She said she wanted to sample the goods, and she was pulling her skirt up, I said. Thats it, sample the goods? Holly asked, then laughed when I nodded in response. What else did she.
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