She told me to close myeyes and sleep.I lay back down and watched two of my three kids mess around in thepool. My head felt like it was floating, but ...y legs felt like lead. Iguess they both evened me out.. As I looked at the pool, I could havesworn that all my kids where naked. And their boyfriends, too. I startedto nod off, my last thoughts where that I can't feel my knees at all.Then the dreams started. I dreamt that I was lying on my lounge chair bythe pool. The sun was up, and all my kids. After a minute or two, I felt him slip out of me. I lay beside Rick wondering what to do next. I had just lost my virginity, and wondered how I should feel. I felt as if I had captured Rick, but didn't feel like anything very special had happened for me. I concluded that Mom was right, having sex was something that a woman did because if she didn’t, her man would split. Carefully I slipped out of bed and stepped into the bathroom. I felt a little sticky down there, and wanted to wash up. . "I pulled her after me and stripped her before slowly undressing. I pulled her into the shower and turned the water on. I washed her body and gritted my teeth at the bruises I found. I knew they were fresh because she would have already been healed if they were not. When I finished I washed quickly and shut the water off.I pulled her out through the warm air dryer. She looked at me with wide eyes as I tapped a foot to show her to spread her legs. A few moments later I pulled her out and across. When Amy is particularly drunkhe's ready to pop up, repelled by Amy's boyfriend, but excited by herimage in the mirror. And Amy gets a confused, gender-reversed version ofhis thoughts. She thinks she's yearning for him even as he, impossibly,yearns for her. And of course this is part of the gender transformationfantasy, the idea that you could look in the mirror and be turned on bywhat you see there.What I struggled with most in this story was the climactic line, the oneabout Amy not being.
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