I was a little girl. I was playing alone in my room. Father came in. He walked funny, staggering every step. He stank of alcohol. I remembered that af...er that night, he never drank until his last dying days, but that night, the miasma of whisky that came from him was so strong that it filled the room. He looked down at me, and smiled. It wasn’t a fatherly smile. He locked the door behind him. There was nothing after that, but I remembered the pain, and that seedling of pain blossomed in me,. Mark said in the beginning he didn’t shoot into his ownmouth but out of curiosity he tried it once and becameaddicted to the creamy saltiness. He went on to explainthat though he masturbated like this his fantasies weretotally heterosexual, all except for one that is.Over the years the taste of semen and sex was irrevocablyintertwined in his mind. He could not have sexual closurewithout the taste of man seed in his mouth. He had onmore than one occasion lost a girlfriend because she wasto. 2 days prior he had turned 18, a grim reminder of the future ahead of him. A future he did not want to face. The future brought uncertainty, and for an indecisive man uncertainty often meant stalling out. And most definitely, he did not want to stall out. Not like his father, and his older brothers.His family had an awful reputation for being rather reckless, young, and well, washed up. Previously a big name in the town he was born and raised in, the Winchester name was tarnished by his father.. Beau found nothing else he wanted, so he told the swamper that he could have whatever he could find after burial expenses had been subtracted. This would surely run over $10, so the swamper was beside himself with gratitude.Beau pocketed the items he took from the gambler and left the saloon to find something to eat. After supper, Beau returned to the livery stable to count his loot. Between the loose money and the gold in the money belt, Beau had picked up a profit of $839 in gold and silver..
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