But sometimes I slip up...".Ben looked happy, but playing it cool... but I was worried he would be offended, or feel less special, or maybe even jealo...s. Ben said "so you occasionally slip up and fuck other guys?". I tried to act innocently and said "sometimes...". Ben started stroking his dick and smiled. I said "don't get any ideas, I'm trying to be good!" with a fun tone. Ben said "maybe you'll slip and I'll get lucky" with a cheeky tone, and I said "I've been trying not to slip, but it's. Rachel and Kate were in her room with thedoor closed. The stereo was playing, though not loudly,and every now and then, I’d hear one or both of themlaugh. I turned back to the television and smiled andsighed. At least someone was having a good time. When I finally went to bed, they were still in Rachel’sroom, although, once in a while, they had made suddenquick appearances throughout the course of the evening.Otherwise, they remained cloistered away inside hertiny bedroom. I turned. .. Yeah.* And I, well... What?* I put my hand down there, and... God.* I don't know what words to use. Played with myself.You did?* Uh huh. I was so horny. I hope you're not mad.Why would I be mad?* Well, I feel guilty about it.You shouldn't.* No?No.* Oh, good. It was quite nice.I bet.* Not as nice as if you were there.Thanks.* No really.Okay. You know what?* What?Thinking about you doing that... it makes me horny.* It does?Yep. I'm umm... getting hard as we speak.* Oh. Well, we should have. Whenever I felt like giving up Josef would just remind me what the purpose of all this was. Anger is such a motivating factor. All I would have to do is think back to that night when my whole life changed and that would push me to work harder or give extra effort. Thanks Joe and Kimmie!Week after agonizing week changes in my appearance started to become evident. Losing fat in both my waist and face, gaining muscles to my entire body, basically I was becoming the young man I envisioned for.
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