4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6... Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"I looked at her,. "They are nice aren't they?" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." No its ok. If you live close by maybe we can go back to your place andyou can have a better look."I looked at her somewhat shocked. "Um, I'm not saying that that doesn'tsound like an amazing idea. Dear lord I can't believe I'm saying this,but I'm really not in the mood for that kind of thing. I just want todrink and then go home and pass out. I'm sorry I'm such an ass tonight.Its just not been a good week. I wouldn't be much company. ”Fred chided, “We see them. They were here a couple weeks ago.”Listening to Fred and Hilda Gary still didn’t know what was going on. Dorothy once asked him why none of their grandparents wanted to see them anymore. He remembered he hadn’t known what she was talking about. He figured Jessie had been keeping the kids from his mother, but he thought they’d been seeing her parents. He’d misjudged that. He said, “Tell you what. This Friday I’ll bring the girls over. It’s supposed to be my weekend. She put her hand on my cheek and pulled me in and kissed me for a few minutes. When she pulled away again, her eyes were clearly glistening, I opened my mouth to ask if she was alright. All that came out was "That was amazing" in a whisper. She smiled, kissed me again, pulled me close to her, and laid her head down. We fell asleep holding onto each other, when I woke up, to the sound of the stall door slamming open. I realized we had separated in the night and were laying away from each other..
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I took another sip, and then spoke to him in my usual fake-Irish accent."I hate to do it to you, me boy, you with two new bairns to feed and all, but
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