She could feel his eyes on her as they both savored her helplessness and subjection.She didn't know what she expected—blows from some mysteriously-a...pearing implement to start falling on her, maybe—but she was surprised when all he did was reach down and remove the cinch above her elbows. She sighed in relief as her shoulders relaxed, but he left her hands cuffed.He told her to get up and she struggled to her knees first, craning her neck to look up at him as she said quietly, "Thank you for. 'Sometimes by gambling and sometimes by force' she said.'You women didn't have any say' he asked.'No we were just silent spectator's' she replied.'How did Grandpa earn you?''He was a very shrewd gambler' she replied.'By gambling?''Yes by gambling and those rituals were weird if you consider them now. As I came of age there were four persons who wanted to possess me and he outwitted each one of them.'And you accepted him as your husband.''I was proud of him but it did not last long' she. As she left me alone, she said, ‘Relax. Try to let your mind go … and … try to remember what you see.’ Damn, it was hot in there! I added a ladle of the water-herb mixture and sat back, trying to relax. In my own time, I had been in saunas, so I expected it to be similar. Every so often I’d add some more. About an hour or so after I entered, I started to get dizzy from the heat so I drank some of the water-herb mixture. Not long after that, I must have fallen asleep. I dreamed I saw a great. I told her about how I lost track of everything that was important to me. I told her about my grades. I poured my heart out to her, telling her about my fears that we were slipping apart, my fears that she was mad at me, my fears that she’d never want to see me again. I told her how much I loved her. It was a guilt-fueled letter, but I had to try to justify my actions (although I never told Gina what those actions were). Seeing it on paper didn’t make me feel any better, though.It was late when.
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