"And it had nothing to do with out-slutting Trixie either, as if that sort of thing were even possible! I had a friend at work, not a girl friend, who...worked as a drive-up teller and she mostly sat all day long and wanted to tone up her body for her then boyfriend. There was a dance studio just down the road from our bank that featured pole dancing aerobics and she asked me to come along with her after work, since she wasn't brave enough to go by herself the first time. So we went and both. Her emotions were a wreck. They'd vacillated widely from an intense desire for revenge to self-revulsion, and then to deep sadness, and moved on from a feeling of loss to passionate desire, and finally to the life-enriching emotion of love. She'd exposed a streak of meanness in her she didn't know she'd possessed, and the discovery brought about severe melancholy. She'd believed she needed desperately to extract revenge to feel whole again, but the belief was false, not only false but also very. ' I'd always been a packrat, so I started with my own junk, throwing away valueless things like love letters I'd received in high school, a subway ticket from ajourney on the Paris Métro when I was 16, a photo of me with my first love before her high school graduation. Things that might be of value or interest I cataloged and tried to figure out the appropriate person to bequeath them to.One night, as I slunk out to get the mail from the box down the street, I heard a car door close. My two friends were frequent smokers, you could say potheads. And I so badly wanted to try it just once, and I'd be satisfied. So they invited me to their party. Not really the sort of party a sixteen year old girl should be at.I got there in the afternoon, and we hung out outside until dark. Alli's dad didn't get home until three in the morning, so the party would be just starting around midnight. Asher came early. He was a junior in high school, obviously going nowhere in life, but that.
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